Breakfast Thought

I am not much for mornings. I won't go as far to say that I am not a morning person, I can function, and even pleasantly if I put my mind to it, but it is by far my second choice to sleeping until at least 8 and taking an hour to get moving. With that said, I have been sensing that the Lord wants me to get up earlier. In fact, I told Matt earlier this week, that when I am offered a job, I am considering requesting a 7-4 schedule- to free my evenings up.

PS. It is kind of a big deal to type that this is what I am sensing, because I have sensed it before, and have been inconsistent in following my lead. So, there is an almost accountability to it now I suppose. In addition, in the last handful of years I had secretly concluded that the sense was most likely not from the Lord and instead from the unsaid pressure of "Christian mainstream" that praises early sunrise prayer and bible reading. And maybe it was... then.

My husband however, is a "by preference" morning person. I got up with him this morning- 6:15 am. Mostly because I had drug my feet on ironing his shirt last night, and he wanted to jog and get into work early. I finished ironing pretty quickly, and fell back into bed when I am almost certain the Spirit told me to "get out of bed and have coffee with your husband." I rolled out, barely brushed my tongue to simply cover the worst of smells, made sure Matt's belt was through ALL the loops and we sat down and drank our coffee and read our morning devotional.

He just left 20 minutes ago, but it hit me. Maybe a 7-4 schedule is not about my evening being free, as much as it is about my mornings? I didn't really think about how it would align with Matt's schedule. Maybe God's up to something...again. Our devotional was Psalms 27, "Wait on the Lord."

Waiting Season

Its midnight, and more than 2 months after our adventure abroad... 2 weeks in Colorado, just spent 2 weeks in Boston and New York with my sisters. Lots of cook outs, birthdays, we even confirmed membership at our church last Sunday.

It has been a whirl in some respect... and then this past week came. I think Gramma had a more full agenda. Waiting to hear back from my last interview, hoping by this Monday...

I was imagining, not too long ago (like yesterday), what life would look like if I simply didn't go back to work. If I stayed home. I mentioned it to Matt and he seemed to be waiting to hear the rest of my game plan. At that particular moment, I hadn't thought farther than simply, " what if I didn't go back." So it was somewhat of a dead end conversation. Couldn't use babies as reasoning either seeing as they are not exactly in our next week plan, and I suppose our children deserve more thought than that, so needless to say, my job hunt continues. And I am feeling pretty good about it... honestly, I am. Plus when I am not working, or at least not utilizing my skill set and gifts in some productive way, I find myself prioritizing ridiculous things, like counting the minutes Matt is late for dinner, or irritated that the mail comes at different times everyday. I know, its sad. But its real. And yes, life is not as exciting as I would like it to be right now. In fact, in theme fashion of this blog, I think it is very appropriate to say that I am in a slow, waiting season... but then again, every song has its bridge, every plot it's pre climax lull...

So bring it on day, there are more recipes to try, more bike paths to ride, more red boxes to watch... and maybe a neighbor to meet, a friend to encourage, a scripture to memorize...

Life

I listened to my pastor's sermon from this past week, his first after an annual 7 week sabbatical. (Matt and I were at Friendship church this past week to listen to my Father preach. They are in town for their ministry.) Pastor pretty much preached the mural we created in Mexico- John 10.

Abundant Life. It is real. And I think I forget that I can have it- life abundantly. I already have so much more joy and peace than the masses around me, I am sure of that. From the doses I receive in God's word and prayer. Secret smiles he gives me through out the day that only I would recognize (Im convinced). And yet, I think there is more. I believe he desires even more joy, even more peace, even more fruit, if I would continue to open myself to the work of Spirit.

I want it. I was thinking earlier today how much do I really believe there is heaven. I do believe, and yet, I have a little anxiety around dying. And not for Christian reasons, like "I cant go yet, there are others who need saving..." As much as I do believe that, that there are others who need love and joy and peace like I am experiencing, AND MORE... but I still, in my finiteness, think I would miss this place alittle. Did I say that out loud? Maybe there is a way to love this world, but not be of it, to look forward to the country to come, but still livei n the moment here, and do it all abundantly, with overflowing joy, and love and peace.

At my last interview, the woman across the table told me "You are just so peaceful, this is the most peaceful interview I have ever had" There was one of those smile he gives me. I hope she remembers that feeling for years to come and one day it draws her to Christ. If only it would have drawn her to give me the job... lol. God is good.