I miss Mexico today... a lot. I miss our little house, and our neighbors, and the mural, and the sun and bible study. I miss the tomale man, and fresh fruit from the tangys market and Mayra's meals at 3. I miss hanging my clothes on the line, and then the whole first floor smells like detergent when the wind blows. I miss Darlene, doing aerobic videos with Iris, I miss sweet bread and walks to Tiffany's to chill or cumbi rides to Laura's to bake. I miss not knowing what's next.
I miss being so amazingly aware that God is moving, and changing things, and saving people and simple. I know that is happening here too, but its different. Its not exotic, and new, or simple. Its home and bills and cold weather, and ministry to high school girls who cuss you out, read at 1st grade levels and are 3 times more likely to be pregnant and impoverished then high school grads or college entrants. Its teaching worship dance to youth I am not even sure enjoy worshiping... its looking for a job when you don't really want one.
Maybe Mexico and Mn. are more alike then I realize. Maybe ministry is beautiful and ugly no matter where are you. I miss the beautiful right now.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
...
In many ways, life has just happened for me. Things I have attained that may seem as if the certainty of my heart and the determination of my mind made them come to pass actually often were a result of coincidence or unmerited favor. This of course is not the explanation for all my decisions and or "progression", I have definitely worked hard, set my mind on goals, paid my dues in some respect, but I would say that generally, up to this point, life has been easy going, and my foot has never lingered too long in the air before knowing where to set it next.
Yesterday when I told the coffee cashier that I wasn't ordering, but instead looking for applications, and then later spoke to a department store manager to see if she had holiday part time hours available, I realized that for the longest period of my life ever, my foot has been up in the air. Not necessarily because I do not have a job, but more so because I am still unclear on what it is I am supposed to do with my day. Even when I was working my comfort was not in my job, but the fact I knew I was to be there. I realize that in 9 months my daily activity will be fed me in a sense, but still, even a baby cannot exempt a woman from obedience to multiply her talent, and keep her lamp burning and ready...
It seems to me that my situation, is an ideal situation in many ways... 24 hours upon 24 hours of endless possibilities. Ideal, and overwhelming at all the same time.
I read a fellow blogger's post of a quote by Charles Spurgeon. It reads, "When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart." And I do.
Yesterday when I told the coffee cashier that I wasn't ordering, but instead looking for applications, and then later spoke to a department store manager to see if she had holiday part time hours available, I realized that for the longest period of my life ever, my foot has been up in the air. Not necessarily because I do not have a job, but more so because I am still unclear on what it is I am supposed to do with my day. Even when I was working my comfort was not in my job, but the fact I knew I was to be there. I realize that in 9 months my daily activity will be fed me in a sense, but still, even a baby cannot exempt a woman from obedience to multiply her talent, and keep her lamp burning and ready...
It seems to me that my situation, is an ideal situation in many ways... 24 hours upon 24 hours of endless possibilities. Ideal, and overwhelming at all the same time.
I read a fellow blogger's post of a quote by Charles Spurgeon. It reads, "When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart." And I do.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Braids
Last week I had an old roommate call me about braiding her brother's hair. I told her sure, not expecting that 5 minutes later he would text me and be on his way with his girlfriend. At the moment I was babysitting a 10 month year old, still hadn't made dinner and had a bible study group coming over in 2 hours and needed to clean up some still. But for some reason, I still felt like I should do it. So, I put my Mexico hat on and went with the flow. I threw a frozen pizza in for dinner, said whatevs to cleaning, and told the girlfriend she would have to help entertain the baby. I called a friend and asked her to pray for the time with this kid and his girlfriend.
Prayer is powerful. After flat ironing, his hair was barely 2 inches. I couldnt get all the hair to lay into the cornroll for the life of me. After 2 braids I gave the guy a mirror and told him to tell me if he wanted me to keep going or stop. He thought it looked great. Honestly, I took a double check at the mirror to make sure it was clean and clear. Was he looking at what I was looking at? In my head, I was so confused. But, since he was willing to sit and enjoy it, I talked. I talked about Jesus, my marriage, I asked them questions about their relationship, school, family. Even invited them to bible study, but apparently, it sounded to intense for them. I eventually finished the whole thing. Fuzzy and all, it looked like good braids, 2 weeks old. Again, he looked in the mirror and told me it looked amazing. He offered me $40! I took $20 and when I closed the door behind him, I just sat down and smiled. In those 2 hours, Matt had called to say he wouldn't be home for dinner because of a random work get together, 2/3 of the bible study text and said they couldn't make bible study so we cancelled, and when I looked around, I realized the house was pretty clean as it stood. Funny.
PS. That line I wrote in my last entry about feeling good- take it back. I woke up yesterday and could barely get out of bed, until I forced myself to get up and chew on a bagel around 10. It got more bearable as the day went. I think the best way to describe it is that I feel like a drank an overdose of nyquil but I'm still trying to function normally. No complaints though, as I realize these are healthy normal signs, and we want that.
Prayer is powerful. After flat ironing, his hair was barely 2 inches. I couldnt get all the hair to lay into the cornroll for the life of me. After 2 braids I gave the guy a mirror and told him to tell me if he wanted me to keep going or stop. He thought it looked great. Honestly, I took a double check at the mirror to make sure it was clean and clear. Was he looking at what I was looking at? In my head, I was so confused. But, since he was willing to sit and enjoy it, I talked. I talked about Jesus, my marriage, I asked them questions about their relationship, school, family. Even invited them to bible study, but apparently, it sounded to intense for them. I eventually finished the whole thing. Fuzzy and all, it looked like good braids, 2 weeks old. Again, he looked in the mirror and told me it looked amazing. He offered me $40! I took $20 and when I closed the door behind him, I just sat down and smiled. In those 2 hours, Matt had called to say he wouldn't be home for dinner because of a random work get together, 2/3 of the bible study text and said they couldn't make bible study so we cancelled, and when I looked around, I realized the house was pretty clean as it stood. Funny.
PS. That line I wrote in my last entry about feeling good- take it back. I woke up yesterday and could barely get out of bed, until I forced myself to get up and chew on a bagel around 10. It got more bearable as the day went. I think the best way to describe it is that I feel like a drank an overdose of nyquil but I'm still trying to function normally. No complaints though, as I realize these are healthy normal signs, and we want that.
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